Plans Finalized To Shut Down Last U.S. Newspapers

Hey, America: This is what you'll lose, once the last bloated newspapers close forever: People like this, whining about the Most Important Thing Ever, a soggy newsprint version of yesterday's wire copy and weeks-old syndicate features about "winter vegetables," wrapped around a Big Lots! circular and six or seven pages of foreclosure notices in the back, along with a few "I HEREBY REFUSE TO PAY MY DEBT" classifieds, where the jobs/real estate ads used to be. Oh god.