Standard Male Instruction Manual

torquewrench: "Yeah. Sure. Got it. Let me check the Standard Male Instruction Manual right here. Oh! Wait! There isn't such a thing."

Yeah, I bought a copy, but it turned out to be bogus. All blank pages. Bogus!

However, there is the "Parent's Handbook," thank goodness, issued to every parent upon the firstborn's birth. Don't know how we would've got along without it.