With our new voluntary water conservation control unit

With our new voluntary water conservation control unit, we decide when you flush, shower, or do laundry or dishes. You no longer have to worry if flipping that government-mandated low-flush toilet is the right thing to do or not. That burden is taken from you.

And that cable internet-TV line you've got coming in? As you know, we already offer voluntarily programs to regulate your bandwidth, but we're going to go even farther. We'll offer voluntary controls so you don't get too much information or use that precious electricity to surf the net at the wrong time of day.

We're the Utility Companies Company.
We don't care.
We don't have to.