If only there were some trust

If only there were some upright federal bureau of investigation Joe could call, some trustworthy national security agency or even a department of homeland security to whom Joe could turn!

Alas that all such agencies nowadays seem more prone to helping the terrorists than stopping them.

Who y' gonna call? Patriot Riders?

Wish I were joking, 'cause, holy $#!+, Joe! Yow!