Failure is an option

Tom Edison's hundreds of attempts at getting a working filament. Abe Lincoln losing races. Even Jesus, trying to bring the world a message through his widely-dispersed and theologically primed people, failed (due to the choices of others). Eventually, Tom found a good filament, Abe got elected, and others picked up the rejected cornerstone. Failure is relative.

This was well said: "tell our kids, when appropriate, that they failed. Not that they are failures." Not understanding this crucial difference may be one of the causes of the "everybody wins" self-esteem oriented mentality.