Ed's Chauffer

[Continuing War stories by EO Swain, from yesterday
http://minx.cc/?blog=86&post=348986#c22104952
1945 Mar 26, Ed, a good man fom Oklahoma, still in a suit instead of uniform, leaves his pal Stubby in line at the sex bunker.]

I was walking alone, through the dark streets of Speyer, wondering just where our billet was when a U.S. Army jeep pulled up alongside of me. The driver said he was lost and wanted to get to the very address where Company "G" was billeted. When I approached the Jeep I recognized it was driven by a very drunk Captain Bass, our company commander. Captain Bass was too much regular army to be well liked by the troops. He felt rank was everything, officers were part of royalty, and enlisted men were scum. In my full dress suit, I doubt if he could have recognized me even if it was daylight and he were sober. I introduced myself and assured the captain I could drive him safely to our billet. Very pleased and relieved, the captain moved over and let me take the wheel. What a sight! If only General Patton could have seen two drunks, driving around the streets of Speyer, one a Captain of Company "G" and the other a buck private, out of uniform but in full dress evening attire.

My turn at the wheel didn't last long. I came to what I thought was a corner, turned down a dead end alley and crashed head-on into the side of a building. Neither of us was hurt, but Captain Bass said it was time for him to take over the driving. Somehow he got us back to our billet, and we both agreed we would never discuss the incident. There was no need for me to discuss it anyway. I doubt if I could have ever gotten anyone to believe that, while formally dressed, I had a private chauffeur home and that my chauffeur was none other than our chicken-shit company commander, the hated Captain Bass.

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