"Bring him before me," screamed the tyrant empress Sarah

"Bring him before me," screamed the tyrant empress Sarah the First. "Bring me Obama!"

His hands bound behind him, cruel guards in white robes prodded their spears into his back to move him forward before the cruel overlord of the.

"At last I have you in my clutches, and you won't get away this time, Barack Obama! Or should I call you by your real name, Barry Sotero!"

Just then, through the oval office windows, crashed the powerful progressive forms of Metro Man and his not-at-all-inferior young ethnic sidekick Libtard. "We'll save you!" cried Libtard, socking a Secret Service soldier unconcious.

Suddenly, just as it seemed they would free the noble Illinois Senator and civil rights leader and Constitutional Author from her clutches, the fiendish Queen Grizzly unbuttoned the top button of her shirt.

Libtard was frozen in his shorts. "My one weakness!" whimpered Metro Man, stumbling into a chair.

She unbuttoned a second button...