A Couple of Years Not Eating Meat

Private, personal, quiet ruminations. Pay no attention.

When I spent a couple of years not eating meat, "private, personal and, most of all, quiet" was my intent. My reasons were, um, some kind of zen or religious thing, y"might say; not political anyway. I was... just trying it out. Yeah, that was it. The early '70s, they were kinky times.

Private and quiet is not always easy when the waitress asks you three times, "Honey, now, you're sure you don't want some bacon or sausage on the side with that?" You get in the habit of just getting some anyway, to not be obvious. But then you leave it, and it's obvious. Or you hide it in a napkin. We didn't have a dog then. (I never hid it, really.)

Dogs and cats are good lessons for vegetarians. Try being a snob about butchered animals while spooning shredded fish or beef-like stew out of cans for the pets! Unless they insist on being like the short-but-funny Goode Family cartoon, with their tortured "vegetarian" dog.

Quiet and private is extra difficult when Mom makes a big deal out of what to make special that's vegetarian for some family gathering. "Anything that isn't meat" is such a difficult concept for some folks. A woman told Milady once she'd never eaten anything vegetarian. A baked potato? Lettuce wedge? Watermelon? Nothing? Ever? It's like vegetarian is some kind of other form of food entirely. They think it's soybeans all the way down, I guess. And, apparently, for some Veggies, it is! Ew, soybeans.

Also, Mom cooks tasty crispy bacon. It's how I think bacon ought to be. I was never so vegetarian I passed that up; grisly undercooked bacon at a greasy spoon, maybe, even today, but not Mom's. But, that's not just meat, that's love.

I had read that some folks supposedly got along okay as vegetarians. But, I didn't know about combining proteins. I didn't know about B vitamin replacement, which caused me serious problems. And I didn't even have a very varied or balanced diet besides the meat.

I was private, personal, quiet, and stupid!

Fortunately, one day, by the Grace of God Almighty, Milady came to visit from the Big City, took pity on me, and made me take B vitamin supplements which cured my worst problems immediately, then she made me stir-fried beef, and chicken enchiladas, and kinds of fish this old Okie had never heard of. I often ponder this profound realization: If I had continued vegetarian, I would never have tasted gyros.

Then we stayed together for forty-five years and had little vegetarian kids. Hahaha. Well, not strictly. We've never grilled up steaks regularly, though. Recovering vegetarians; you never really get over it.

A relative once asked me if I was vegan. No. So, he said, you still eat eggs? Yeah. So, you don't eat meat but you eat pre-meat. Heh. Yeah.

Wheel of morality, turn turn turn
Tell us the lesson that we must learn

Don't start webworker talking about his salad days.

Yeah, I did that.

_____

"But Lisa, I thought you li-i-i-i-ked me..."