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Kiddisms

A silly song to sing with kids. Verses repeat, with counting... so it could be extended infinitely!

1.

Eb            Db

Sing a little song

   Fm      Eb

We already know

Eb           Db        Eb

I will sing along with you

Eb           Db

Find an easy key

       Fm            Eb

We can sing it sorta slow

Eb            Db       Eb

We can sing a verse or two, oh

Eb            Db       Eb

We can sing a verse or two

[Chorus:]

Db              Dbmaj7

Singing low and high

Eb

Singing in the middle

Db           Dbmaj7   Eb

Putting on a har- mo- ny

Db            Dbmaj7

Strumming a guitar

Eb

Sawing on a fiddle

Db                     Eb

Just to keep ac-com-pa-nee, oh

Db                    Eb

Just to keep you company

2.

Sing a little song

We already know

And you can sing along with me

Find an easy key

Sing it sorta slow

We can sing a verse or three, oh

We can sing a verse or three

[Chorus]

3.

Sing a little song

We already know

Is anybody keeping score?

Find an easy key

Sing it sorta slow

We can sing a verse or four, oh

We can sing a verse or four

[Chorus]




Kiddisms

Every place we live seems so threatened by the forces of nature! Let's move someplace safe...

1.

We lived on the mountain

But the mountain exploded

We lived on the plains

But the house blew away



We lived by the ocean

Got caught in a hurricane

So we moved to the

South Pole one day

2.

Mountains and plains

And oceans are dangerous

One two three

Moved to the fourth



Now we are happy

Dancing with the penguins

Where everything everywhere

   Everywhere else

Everything everywhere

   is North!

3.

We lived on the mountain

But the mountain exploded

We lived on the plains

But the house blew away



We lived by the ocean

Got caught in a hurricane

So we moved to the

South Pole one day

4.

Mountains and plains

And oceans are dangerous

Quit looking

Down in the mouth



You can be happy

Dancing with the penguins

We're easy to visit

   Oh won't you come and visit?

All you gotta do is

    head South!




Kiddisms

Babies grow up too fast. A simple reminder of simple days, like discovering you can find your foot.

1.

         C

I've got one two three four

   G

   five toes on my left foot.

G

One two three four

   C

   five toes on my right foot.

     F

Five fingers on each hand.

   C

   Don't you think it's grand

D

Babies learn to stand

          G7

   on our own two feet.

2.

         C

I've got one cute nose

          G

   in the middle of my face.

G

Shining eyes

             C

   on either side.

    F

Two ears to hear what's said.

       C

   I'm usually well-fed.

  D

I have to go to bed

      G7

   on time!

3.

      C

I'm a baby

           G

   but I'm growing really fast.

   G

It isn't much

              C

   but I've begun to have a past.

             F

Although the past is all I've got,

     C

   I hope I'm rightly taught

   D

By everything I got

           G7

   from my family.

4.

        C

Like my one two three four

   G

   five toes on my left foot

G

One two three four

   C

   five toes on my right foot

     F

Five fingers on each hand.

   C

   Don't you think it's grand

G7

Babies learn to stand

          F       C

   on our own two feet.




Radical Incline

Dueling monologues between the male chauvanist pig and the women's libber.

[MCP:]

We're gonna take away abortion,
  Woman has to learn her proper role.
We're gonna outlaw the diaphram, take away your pill,
  and put the man back in control

We're gonna put ya back up on your pedestal
  And not care about what you think
Gonna take away your job so you'll stay at home
  Knocked up and at the kitchen sink

We're going back, back, to the good old days,
  of the bustle and the petticoat
We're going back to the ways that God intended
  Gonna take away your right to vote!
Oink! Oink! Gonna take away your right to vote!
[femlib:]

You can never take away abortion, 
  You can only make one hard to get.
I'll never give up my self-control
  And you haven't found yours yet.

I'll never go back the way it was
  Because slavery is dead.
And you better wise up or you're liable to find
  You're in a big cold lonely bed.

We're going forward ho! to the better ways,
  And we've only just begun to grow.
God gave me a mind and the will to find 
  what's right and She ought to know.
That's right! I said I think She ought to know.



Short & Tall Tales

The first meal of the day ought to be your best. But isn't always.

1.
F
I just had a waffle,

and I'm really feelin' awful!

Think that waffle had an awful
         C
   lotta mold.
          Gm7
My pat of butter wouldn't melt.

I think I know just how it felt.

That moldy awful waffle really
        F
   felt cold.
2.
My maple syrup I insist, 'll
tell you musta turned to crystal,
'cause the jug I lug around
   won't even pour.
And now this crummy fork of mine
has broken for the final tine
and I can't use it for the what the
   fork it's for.
3.
My chin was wet with spittle
when I spied the peanut brittle
with a taste I mighta died for
   in my youth.
But when I gave a chunk a try
it turned out mighty hard and dry
and now I got that crummy stuff
   stuck in my tooth.
4.
I had to melt away the toffee
so I poured a cup of coffee.
It did the job. I also
   burnt my tongue.
You wonder why I screamed and flailed?
It made me yell, and I inhaled.
There's moldy toffee coffee waffles
   in my lung!



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