Oreo Rant

Commented on Ace of Spades, Saturday, July 30, 2011 - 22:57

It's late, I'm tired, I have no energy to read any of the no doubt fascinating and insightful 228 comments, I'm on a slow rural connection, and can't see the videos. The world is doomed. We rent rides to the space station from the Russians, the budget is a pop bottle rocket (the kind that explode), Dick Milhouse O'Bluffy is STILL pResident, communism is rampant, there's no beer in the fridge, we're losing Iraq and Afghanistan and Libya but about to go to war with Iran while the imminent Mexican invasion (h/t Ann Barnhardt) is timed to coincide with the multi-city terrorist nuking (see.. uh...) and the Yellowstone volcano, and Mr Jesus still hasn't been back to visit us, BUT...

NOW THERE'S A REAL CRISIS! I bought a bag of ordinary Oreo cookies tonight and the filling.. the filling was about HALF there!! Win The Future? Is nothing sacred? It was, like, twice the thickness of my big toenail. Maybe the cookies were thinner, too, but who cares, that would be a good thing. Is this a plot to force us to buy double-stuft just to get normal stuff? Is this Michelle Obama's latest plan to screw dietary happiness? It wasn't even worth twisting them apart and scraping the filling out. It's not like I can go out and buy Hydrox, y'know? (You don't know? I feel so old!)

Maybe I just got a bum bag. Instance is not pattern. But Nabisco, I'm watching you!

That is all. Good night.
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This got amusing responses from phoenixgirl and chemjeff and Peaches and The Great Satan's Ghost and robtr and someone and ParanoidLaundryGirlinSeattle.