My life is in such awful shape!
  The reason is because
My life is based on Murphy's Law:
  Whatever can go wrong does!

Not only does it all go wrong,
  it goes wronger every day!
And it doesn't all just go wrong, it goes wrong
  in the very worst possible way!

Each choice invokes catastrophe!
  Doesn't matter what I do!
On the left path lies disaster!
  Disaster lies on the right path, too!

Some people just have a talent, a gift,
  that sets them above the throng.
My God-given gift is ability to be
  perpetually, totally wrong!